Texas Sucks
This is my 5th year of living in Texas. When I first got here from PA, I thought it was OK, but now that I'm older and wiser it just pisses me off sometimes. What's the deal with the attitude down here? "Everything's bigger in Texas" "Don't mess with Texas"; is this propaganda disseminated to raise redneck's self esteem so they don't go home, beat their wife and kick the dog like they usually do? It's arrogant bullshit. Even the commercials do this. "See your Texas Dodge dealer", "It's truck month in TEXAS" Every god-damned month is truck month in Texas, I wonder if that commercial's ever prompted someone to go "Hey Billy-Bob, look, I recon it's truck month! I was fixin' to go down and git me a good deal on a truck!" If you do have a 400 ton 8 wheeled monster at least learn how to drive the damned thing. I've personally witnessed hundreds of misguided rednecks try to park in a parking lot in a Dodge Ram 9000 EXT Superduty and have to take 5 or 6 swings to get their dumbass in or out of the space. It's not necessary to have a vehicle that big unless you have a 600 lb. wife and 9 kids to haul around.
Here's some other things that Texas has blessed us with:
Tolltag- The GWB tollway is the way all roads should be, it's why I pay taxes. Why do we have to pay to drive on the only reasonable road around here?
Unicard- This gets my official "You are a dumb-shit" award for whoever came up with this idea.
Service Roads- Let's make everything as hard to get to as possible, shall we?
Helmet Law- I don't care if you want to ride your crotch-rocket 90 mph on the highway and kill yourself, but for God' s sake at least wear a helmet so when an armadillo carcass gets thrown at your head from the Dodge truck in front of you, you don't dump the bike and kill someone that's not a dumbass.
President Bush- No explanation necessary.
Shiner- Ok, maybe I was wrong. About the only good thing I can think of that comes from Texas.
So before all of you chime in to tell me, I know not all Texans are like this. Some of my best friends down here are Texas natives and "y'all" are cool. But I have to say the vast majority piss me off.
On a complete tangent, I was driving to class today and I hit a puddle in the road, which I didn't see at all, and it splashed all over this poor girl walking on the sidewalk. It's sunny, the road wasn't even wet, and I was busy watching this other chick on the other side of the road. I wanted to stop and apologize and offer to pay for the cleaning, but there was really nowhere to do it. I have to admit it was pretty funny, but I do feel bad about it.
If you're Texan and this pissed you off......